As you might remember, it's somebody's birthday coming up soon, and while I'm not saying you need to buy me anything, here are my 5 most coveted SkyMall items. (Yes, it was a long flight from London to Chicago where the video system was down for at least half of it.)
1. Jumpin Jammerz - and I quote: "Until now 'Footed Pajamas' have been typically hard to find in adult sizes. Well your search is over!!!" Available styles: Penguins, Pink Ducks, Skulls, Stars, Blue ducks and planes among others.
2. Bigfoot, the Garden Yeti Sculpture - and I quote again: "With his characteristically big feet, our over two-foot-tall Garden Yeti will have guests doing a double-take as they admire your creative gardening style."
3. Aculife Therapist Deluxe - I couldn't say it better myself: "Be your own acupuncturist. Diagnose and heal yourself and your family. Warning: Do not use if pregnant, have a pacemaker or suffer from malignant tumors, excessive bleeding, or tuberculosis. Not to be used by children under the age of 3."
4. The NeckPro Traction Device - not making this up either: "Easy-to-use over-door cervical traction device that can be used at home or away... Break the muscle spasm/neck pain cycle."
5. King Tut Life-Sized Sarcophagus Cabinet - It's a real closer: "Measuring taller than most men, our replica opens to reveal 14 storage shelves. Curbside delivery. Also available our King Tut CD Cabinet: (not shown).
Note that you can purchase these and other gifts in dollars, euros or pounds and they ship to most countries, including the UK. Hint, hint.